Goodbye

Goodbye, Parisa. You came to live with us such a short time ago, and I feel both the tenderness of that brief relationship and the depth of the bond we formed with you in that time. I regret the illness that depressed your health to the point at which your life seemed to us no longer worth living. I struggled with the question of when it was time to let you go, but the quality of your days at the end spoke to us. You had stopped eating. You could no longer walk on your own. On your final day, you could barely hold your own head up. In the end, we knew that it was time.

The vet had told us that you didn’t have much time left, and we were shocked. You had only been with us for about 6 weeks. We tried to give you the best, most caring life we could as you endured decline. We are so grateful that your health rebounded for about a week, that you seemed stronger, although we always knew that the inevitable ending was coming. I’m so glad that you regained some of your vitality, that we were able to spend more time intentionally sitting with you, exploring the backyard with you, petting you, loving you.

I will remember you. I will remember you laying on the top bunk and peeking down at us from above. I will remember you looking out the window at the squirrels, birds, and people passing by. I will remember you sneaking into our neighbors’ apartment so that you could look around as we talked with them in the hall. I will remember how you talked with us in your little meows, even when we had no idea what you were saying. We joked that we left you exasperated with our inability to understand your specific requests.

I hope you understood – in whatever way cats understand – that we loved you. I hope you felt some sense of peace by our presence with you until the end. I hope we eased your passage from here to wherever and whatever you are now.

I know what I’m sharing here might sound trite. I know we cannot compare our relationships with pets to our relationships with humans. I know that we could not communicate with one another through language. I know that much of our different natures can only remain unintelligible to each other. And I know as well that I will always hold you in my heart. I will always care for you.

Goodbye, Parisa. May you be at peace.